


something in the air

by sapphictomaz



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Episode: s07e13 Blood Giant, Fix-It, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, its the 7x13 murphamy fix it fic, you all knew this was coming from me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-11
Updated: 2020-09-11
Packaged: 2021-03-07 03:09:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26399947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphictomaz/pseuds/sapphictomaz
Summary: Spoilers for the ending of 7x13."For just a second more, Murphy stares at him, begging for the change of heart that never comes. He thinks that, honestly, he’d rather be drowned in the pond again than have to live in a universe where Bellamy’s not at his side as he walks away, but he turns around nonetheless." - or, Murphy's not willing to let Bellamy go so easily.
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/John Murphy, Emori/Raven Reyes (background)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 80





	something in the air

**Author's Note:**

> again - major, major spoilers for the ending of 7x13!! also, the title is from "something in the air" by winnetka bowling league.

Sanctum’s cold. 

It shouldn’t be, not when the night has only barely begun, but an icy chill sweeps through the city. Murphy pulls his coat closer around his shoulders, the heat of the fire doing nothing to warm his bones. Next to him, Raven is lost in thought, no doubt doing her best to plan how to get them out of this situation. 

And then there’s Bellamy, standing across the clearing, hands folded neatly in front of him as he stays close to Bill Cadogan’s side.  _ My shepherd,  _ he’d called him. Even after being told everything that had happened, Murphy still hasn’t comprehended the invisible soldiers and the ray guns, but if he’s honest, he doesn’t care. He can’t stop staring at Bellamy. He can’t stop trying to piece it together, to decipher how it is that one of the most stubbornly loyal people he knows has turned against them. 

Clarke’s gone ahead to go find Madi and the Flame. Raven sits next to him in silence. Bellamy stands across the way with the enemy out of his own free will. The fire flickers in front of him, but the empty spot on his left feels frozen. 

He’s cold. 

“Something happened to him out there,” Raven says when she catches him staring. 

Murphy pauses for a second, trying to figure out what possibly could have happened to change him so drastically in such a short time. “It’s barely been days,” he says. 

“Remember, time works differently on different planets,” she reminds him. “I don’t know how much time passed for him, but he’s been gone a lot longer than it seems.”

“We spent six years with him on the Ring,” he says, watching the orange hues of the fire illuminate Bellamy’s white robes. “There’s no way that whatever happened to him, whatever he saw, means more to him than that.”

Raven sighs and shrugs, clearly at a loss. “He had Clarke tortured,” she says, “and he was going to have me tortured, too. He helped them keep our friends hostage on some other planet. I don’t know what happened - but that’s not Bellamy anymore.”

He blinks, stunned. Slowly, Murphy shifts his eyes back to Bellamy and the group of Disciples. It doesn’t make sense. It wasn’t all that long ago that Murphy had played pretend and donned a Prime identity to save Bellamy’s life, finally putting them on an even playing field and for the first time in a very long time, they were equals. No longer was he the traitor - no longer was Bellamy his murderer. It had all worked out. For the first time in a very long time, they’d been fine. 

The words  _ that’s not Bellamy anymore _ play in his mind on a loop. It seems true. Looking at him now, Murphy can’t recognize him, but he can’t be complacent with this reality, either. It’s not fair. They’ve come too far for it to be this unfair. 

Slowly, he stands, eyes fixed on Bellamy’s figure. “What are you doing?” Raven hisses, putting a hand on his arm to try and force him back down. “We’re hostages, remember?”

He shakes off her grip gently, stepping around the fire. “There’s got to be more to this,” he says, convincing himself more than anything. “Besides, what are they going to do? Shoot me?”

“Yes!” Raven replies, but to that he says nothing. Somehow, it doesn’t feel all that important. 

Murphy crosses the clearing slowly, waiting for more invisible soldiers to appear in front of him after every step, but none of them do. He’s unarmed, and they all know it, but the further he gets without resistance the more offended he starts to feel. “I’m at least a  _ little _ threatening, aren’t I?” he mutters. 

He’s close enough now that his words, however quiet, catch the attention of the three men in white robes. Cadogan stands in the center, with Bellamy on his right and a man Murphy doesn’t recognize on his left. This is the one that notices him approaching and turns around, a warm smile on his face that does nothing but further enrage Murphy. “Can we help you?” he asks, and despite the fact that he’s helping keep him hostage, he sounds sincere. 

“I need to talk to your new best friend,” Murphy says, breaking eye contact with the stranger and staring at the back of Bellamy’s head until he, too, turns around. 

“Murphy-” Bellamy begins. 

“Alone,” Murphy says, cutting him off, and doing his best to ignore the sad desperation deep in his eyes. 

Bellamy pauses for a second, clasping his fingers together nervously. “Anything you want to say to me,” he says, “you can say in front of my shepherd.”

Next to him, Cadogan smiles, and Murphy’s stomach twists. “Fine,” he snaps. “What the hell, man?”

He can’t lie - he’s happy to see Bellamy’s eyes widen in shock at the accusation. It’s reassuring, almost, to see a human response under there, and to know that despite whatever has changed, Murphy can still fluster him. “I don’t expect you to understand,” he finally replies, a perfect repetition of exactly what he’d said only moments prior. 

“You’re just ‘looking out for us,’” Murphy repeats. “How exactly is keeping us hostage here and sending Clarke into the reactor alone ‘looking out for us?’”

“It’s bigger than this,” he says. “It’s bigger than this moment.”

“Right,” Murphy snaps, “well - let me remind you, not too long ago, you were calling  _ me _ a traitor for trying to enact a plan that would have saved all of our people. So imagine how surprised I am, after all of that, to see you standing with the enemy.”

To his left, Cadogan smirks, laughing under his breath. Murphy turns his shoulder towards him, doing his very best to ignore it. “I  _ am _ trying to save our people,” Bellamy says. 

“How?” he replies. “Tell me what’s going on here, Bellamy. Tell me that all this, whatever this is, is for a good reason.”

“I-”

“Tell me your plan. Tell me how all of this is going to save our people, and I will  _ help  _ you, Bell, I will do everything that I can - but you have to  _ talk  _ to me!”

Bellamy opens his mouth to speak, then closes it again. His eyes are wide, reflecting the moon and the stars and everything  _ good _ , everything  _ pure _ , and Murphy wants to lose himself in them. For a second, the Bellamy he knows is back, and they’re going to be okay. They’re going to be  _ fine.  _

“Talk to me,” he whispers. 

“Transcendence,” Bellamy replies, and just like that, he doesn’t recognize the person he’s staring at anymore. 

He’s going to say more and do his best to convince him that he’s wrong. He’s going to find the nearest blade and run it through his chest. He’s going to throw his arms around Bellamy and beg him to come home, all in one breath, but then off in the distance behind them, Raven starts to yell. “We have to run!” she’s crying out. 

The dull orange hue that still lingers around the edges of Bellamy’s robe is not due to the fire, it seems, but the eclipsing suns far above them. “Great,” he mutters. “You want to drown me in the pond again?” He makes sure to catch Bellamy’s eye as he says it, ensuring that he hears him. 

Bellamy’s the one to break eye contact, and though he seems sad and reluctant, he busies himself with Cadogan and whatever it is that he wants. For just a second more, Murphy stares at him, begging for the change of heart that never comes. 

He thinks that, honestly, he’d rather be drowned in the pond again than have to live in a universe where Bellamy’s not at his side as he walks away, but he turns around nonetheless. As he returns to the fire, hands in his pockets to fight the biting chill that’s somehow returned, he can’t help but feel that he’s left something behind. 

* * *

By the stroke of luck and Emori’s quick thinking of lowering the shield, they make it back to the reactor intact and without any attempted murder. Raven enters first, no doubt eager to get the power and their defenses back online, but she’s stopped in her tracks when Emori comes running and throws her arms around her in an embrace. 

“Raven!” she cries, her voice full of relief. “It’s so good to see you.”

Murphy doesn’t miss the way the tension falls out of Raven’s shoulders and she eases into the hug. “You, too,” she says, holding her tightly. 

Over her shoulder, Emori makes eye contact with Murphy and guilt falls on her face. She’s about to break away from the hold but then he shakes his head in genuine understanding. Emori smiles at him, grateful. It’s been a long time coming - for both of them.

Clarke and Madi are reuniting as well, and though he’s happy for everyone around him, Murphy frowns. He thought he, too, would have a chance at a happy reunion, but the person he wanted to do that with doesn’t exist anymore. The person he wanted to do that with died on some faraway planet, and a carbon copy has come back in their place, one that looks exactly like the original but without all the heart. 

He’s lost in his own melancholy that he doesn’t even notice Clarke approaching until she’s standing right next to them. “Hey, Murphy,” she says, “I need to ask you to do something for me.”

“Sure,” he sighs, straightening. “What’s up?”

Clarke hesitates, a rare moment of uncertainty in her actions showing through, but then she reaches into her jacket pocket and takes out a gun. It’s the same one that Emori was using to defend the reactor, and that no doubt was given to her because Clarke is a better shot than any of them. “I need you to take this,” she says, rotating it so that the handle is being offered to him. 

He raises his brow, staring at the weapon, unsure of what to do. “What are you giving me that for?”

She sighs, glancing over his shoulder to where Bellamy stands with Cadogan across the room. They’re out of earshot, but their presence is a permanent reminder both of what they’re facing, and what they’ve lost. “Before Praimfaya,” she says, “when Skaikru stole the bunker - Bellamy was going to open the hatch to let everybody in, and I was trying to stop him. I had my gun pointed right at him.”

“But you couldn’t pull the trigger,” he whispers, the realization of what she’s asking dawning on him. 

“I chose my friend over everybody else,” she says, “and if it comes down to it, I don’t know if I’ll be able to choose differently.”

He takes the gun, slowly. It feels heavy and foreign in his hand, and he wants nothing more than to be rid of it, but he can’t, not now. “And you think I can?”

“I do,” she says. “I think that he means more to you than anything, and that’s exactly why you can - but I also know that if it comes down to it, he wouldn’t let them shoot  _ you _ .”

The gun still feels heavy, even after he’s slipped it into his jacket pocket. “You really think that’s true?”

She smiles, though it’s tinged with sadness. “He might not seem like it, but that’s still Bellamy.”

“Just an hour ago, I would have believed you,” he replies, “but now...I don’t know.”

“Don’t give up hope.”

“You say that,” he says, “but you’re also giving me a gun.”

She lets out a breath, unable to argue. “Don’t give up hope,” she repeats, “until he doesn’t give you a choice.”

Clarke leaves him, then, and he’s alone once more, unable to do anything but stare at the back of Bellamy’s head. The gun weighs him down. He could fire it now, and embed a bullet into Bellamy’s skull, ending all of this before it ever had a chance to begin. Maybe that would be merciful of him. Maybe he’d sleep better at night, knowing he’d prevented Bellamy from becoming even worse, from stealing more away from Murphy than he already had. 

The gun sits heavy in his pocket. He doesn’t dare touch it. 

* * *

Gabriel shoots and destroys the Flame, destroying what little leverage Cadogan had. Indra defeats Sheidheda, leaving him tied up with a fatal wound to die. Clarke’s got Cadogan dialing in the code to the offline planet, supposedly the very same one that their friends were sent to before. It all seems to be turning in their favour. 

Except - Bellamy’s still wearing those white robes, staying close to Cadogan’s side, and every time Murphy looks at him he’s reminded that all of this, no matter how much it plays in their favour, is  _ wrong.  _

“You’re coming with us,” Clarke says to Cadogan. Gabriel’s still got his gun and he’s holding it level to Cadogan’s chest, enforcing the silent threat. A green light erupts inside the throne room, all centered around the stone. It’s like nothing that Murphy’s ever seen before, but simply can’t bring himself to care. It feels like it’s all been a waste, like it’s all amounted to absolutely nothing. 

It feels like he’s lost something, a very central part of himself, that was living inside Bellamy’s heart and now - now he doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do, or how he’s supposed to care. How is he supposed to carry onwards alone?

“You should have more faith, Clarke,” Cadogan sighs, and though he speaks Murphy hears Jaha’s voice, and this angers him. Cadogan, Jaha, they’re both the same. They’ve faced this before, and they’ve come out the other side, so why does this time have to be so different? Why is it that this time, he’s losing?

Cadogan steps forwards, towards the anomaly. Like a dutiful soldier, Bellamy follows, but then on Clarke’s command Gabriel aims his gun at him. “Not you,” she says. “You’ve made your choice.”

And - Murphy wants to believe this isn’t true. He wants to believe that Bellamy’s just playing them, that the real him is still in there, and that they’re going to be fine. He wants to believe it, but Bellamy just stands there, accepting his fate and looking like a kicked puppy and it makes Murphy want to scream.  _ You’re more than this,  _ he wants to yell, but he says nothing at all. The gun weighs heavy in his pocket. 

“Come on,” Raven says. With one last look at him, Emori joins her side, and the two of them are the first through the anomaly. Madi, Jackson, Indra and Clarke all follow. Gabriel forces Cadogan through, still holding him at gunpoint, casting one regretful look around the room before he leaves his home for the second time. 

In mere seconds, Murphy’s the last one in the throne room. Regretfully, he takes a step towards the light, but as he does, Bellamy does, too. It feels like a knife is twisting in his gut but he knows exactly why Clarke asked him to do this, because he acts without thinking and pulls the gun out, aiming it right at Bellamy’s chest. “Don’t even think about it,” he says, doing his best to keep his voice from shaking. 

Bellamy freezes. He looks like he’s on the verge of tears, but his resolve never breaks. “I have to follow my shepherd,” he says, like it’s the saddest thing he’s ever had to do. “It’s important.”

“More important than any of us?”

“More important  _ because  _ of you!” Bellamy cries, real emotion showing for the first time all night. Even though it’s anger, and even though it’s directed at him, Murphy finds it a relief. Somewhere, underneath the facade, is the man he knew. 

“I asked you to tell me why,” Murphy says, never lowering the gun for a second, “so, tell me.”

Bellamy shakes his head. “The bridge is closing,” he says. “You should go.”

“ _ Tell  _ me,” he repeats, and in a moment of absolute certainty, he clicks the safety off the gun. 

“Transcendence is possible,” Bellamy says, very softly, and very quietly. “I saw it. I  _ know _ it. If we win the last war, then we can have it.”

“That doesn’t make any sense.”

“It  _ does _ ,” he insists. “I know how it sounds, but I saw it with my own eyes, Murphy. It’s real. Cadogan is right.”

_ That’s not Bellamy anymore,  _ Raven had said, and now, Murphy thinks she may be right. “Cadogan is leading a cult,” he snaps. “He’s hungry for power and just wants to live forever and control people. How do you not see this?”

“No, there’s-”

“Please,” Murphy says, “I  _ need _ you to understand what you’re doing here. I need you to see how this is wrong.”

Bellamy falters, but only for a moment. “I have faith,” he says, “and you should, too.”

At this, Murphy’s finger hovers over the trigger and tears spring to the corner of his eyes. “I  _ did _ !” he’s yelling. There’s a fire in his chest that’s far too powerful to be put out, and maybe those six years didn’t mean anything to Bellamy, but for him, all that time has been adding up and leading to this very moment. 

“Murphy, please.”

“I did have faith,” he says. It’s getting hard to pull in breath, and his voice shakes, but he doesn’t even care. “I had faith in  _ you _ .”

Bellamy’s eyes go wide and he stumbles backwards a step, as if his words carry enough force to push him. “That’s - I don’t know what you want me to say.”

That’s it, then. That’s it. It feels as though he’s just bared the deepest, darkest depths of his soul and Bellamy did nothing to acknowledge it. “Parting,” he says, before he even realizes what he’s saying or the moment he’s quoting, “such sweet sorrow, right?” It’s the end. They’ve had their end, a long time ago, and he’s only just now learning about it. 

There’s a long pause, and then Bellamy’s about to speak, but behind them, Sheidheda draws in a rattling breath and speaks first. “I can help you if you help me,” he says, directing his words to Bellamy only. “On my throne - there’s a book.”

Bellamy looks at the throne made from skulls quizzically, but Murphy doesn’t need to. With a sinking feeling in his chest, he realizes that it’s Madi’s book on the throne, full of sketches about information in the Flame from all the past Commanders. He knows that if Cadogan saw it, Madi would be in danger, and all of this would be, yet again, for nothing. “Don’t,” he says, but it’s too late. Bellamy walks over to the throne and picks up the book. 

The anomaly is going to close soon. He can’t let that happen before he gets a chance to follow everyone, but - he can’t let the Disciples learn what’s in the book, either. The gun feels so, so heavy in his hand, but his finger dances over the trigger, the seconds passing slowly as he weighs the world in his hands. 

“I shall say goodnight till it be morrow,” Bellamy mutters from across the throne room, still staring at the open sketchbook in his hands. The words barely register in Murphy’s ears but then, it hits him, all at once, and he  _ knows.  _

He thought he knew why Clarke had given him the gun before, but now he understands. He’s always been good at survivor’s moves - but it’s more than that. _ That’s not Bellamy anymore _ , he thinks, but then -  _ don’t give up hope.  _

He’s got his faith. The only difference between himself and Bellamy is that he never lost it in the first place. 

Murphy fires the gun twice in quick succession. The first shot buries itself into Sheidheda’s head, finally ending the life of the man who only wanted to live forever. The second finds its final resting place in the wall of the throne room, but not before ripping straight through Madi’s sketchbook that had still been in Bellamy’s hands. 

A heavy silence descends in the room. For one second, the only sound to be heard is the drop of Bellamy’s blood onto the floor, the bullet having skimmed and cut the skin on his hand. They all stop and stare, wordlessly, at the ruined pages in his hand that he drops and lets float back to the floor. 

And then - 

The two remaining Disciples both turn to Murphy, angrily, ready to fight back. He tries to fire the gun, but there are no more bullets in the chamber and his eyes widen. The threat gone, the first Disciple raises his own weapon, seconds away from firing. The anomaly is beginning to close, and he can’t get there in time, not before whatever ray gun his enemy is holding blasts him to pieces. 

_ It’s over,  _ he thinks, but it never was quite that simple. 

Bellamy looks at him from across the room. Their eyes meet, and something indistinguishable passes between them, but in a split second, Murphy thinks that whatever he’d lost before has just been returned. He smiles, and the air around him feels warm, and he lets go of the gun, once again weightless, and - 

With a cry, Bellamy races towards him, launching himself at him before Murphy can do anything. It’s enough to throw the Disciples off and they don’t fire, out of confusion and worry of hitting their supposed ally. Murphy doesn’t have time to be grateful for that. Bellamy’s momentum carries him forwards until they’re crashing into each other, and flying backwards, falling right into the green light of the anomaly just as it closes. 

They tumble out of it unceremoniously, both of them landing on their backs next to each other. Sanctum’s throne room vanishes from around them and they’re somewhere open, and green, and vibrant, but Murphy doesn’t care in the slightest. It’s easy to tear his gaze away from their new surroundings and stare into Bellamy’s eyes, the brightest things in the world. “Thanks for that,” he says. 

Bellamy hesitates, clearly torn by guilt and regret, but he smiles. “You said you had faith in me,” he says, “but that can’t be true.”

“Why not?”

“Because,” he replies, softly, “I’ve always been the one that had faith in you. You just had to remind me of that.”

_ Parting, such sweet sorrow,  _ he thinks, and as he stares into Bellamy’s eyes, he vows for them to never part, not again. “We can have faith in each other,” he says. “Okay?”

Bellamy’s eyes shine. “Okay.”

Someone coughs, shattering the moment. Both of them realize that the rest of the world exists and they sit up, the rest of their friends standing only a little ways off, all of them staring at them. “You finally made it, huh?” Raven calls out. Standing next to her, Emori smiles.

“Sorry about the wait,” Murphy says. Off to the side, Clarke catches his eye and smiles at him. 

“Bellamy,” Cadogan calls out, despite the fact that Gabriel’s still got him at gunpoint. “How good to see you.”

Bellamy pauses for only a moment before speaking. “I wish I could say the same,” he says, “but the truth is, I wish I had never met you, Cadogan. You’re wrong.”

Murphy smiles, watching Cadogan’s skin pale. He stands, dusting off his clothes, and then he extends a hand to Bellamy, who takes it gratefully. “Can we agree to put this all behind us and pretend it never happened?”

“Yeah,” Bellamy says, smiling. “Yeah, we can do that.”

“Great,” he replies. “At the first opportunity, we need to get you some new clothes, because those robes...I know I said you looked great, but I lied.”

Bellamy laughs, a sound greater than anything he’s ever known, and then moves next to him as they walk towards their friends and towards whatever comes next. It’s true that Murphy may not know where they are, or what they’re going to do next, but as they move onwards he finds that he doesn’t care about any of that. 

It’s enough for him, he thinks, to live in a universe where he gets to walk with Bellamy at his side. 

**Author's Note:**

> phew okay. i know this wasn't too long or anything, but i hope it was alright. not sure what else to say about this one, to be honest, but i'm sure in the near future i'll have lots of murphamy fix-it fics to write and lots of things to say. 
> 
> a big thank you to charlie for hyping me up and giving me encouragement on this one, it means the world to me. and a big thank you to everybody reading! i hope you're all well, considering. come talk to me on twitter @reidsnora if you like. thank you <3


End file.
